Photo: The Washington Post/Getty Images

Maybe we’re just desperate for any morsel of news that doesn’t involve putting on waders and diving hip-deep into the worst of humanity, but a story in Food & Wine about the pending arrival of Kinder eggs in the U.S. has us filled with a feeling of delight akin to—well, akin to cracking open a chocolate egg and finding a little toy inside. The chocolate surrounding the egg isn’t the very best out there—hell, it’s probably not the best chocolate that’s currently illegal in the U.S.—but the risk of choking makes it all the more thrilling. That risk was the justification for banning the eggs in the first place: Although intermittently available at rogue retailers, Kinder eggs have been illegal in the U.S. since the 1938 Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act, which bans treats with “non-nutritive objects” embedded in them.

The new American Kinder Joy eggs will differ from their global Kinder Surprise counterparts in that they won’t consist of a chocolate-and-cream shell surrounding a plastic egg, but snap in half to reveal a toy on one (separately sealed) side and a chocolate-and-cream concoction with two chocolate wafers on the other. (The separately sealed halves are what make them FDA-compliant.) You’re supposed to dig out the wafers with an enclosed little plastic spoon, which seems like more of a choking hazard than a toy safely enclosed inside a plastic egg, but whatever. Classic Kinder Surprise eggs, meanwhile, will still have to be smuggled in from Canada.

Kinder Joy eggs will be available in the U.S. starting on Black Friday, when you’ll be able to get them at Walmart for $1.34 apiece—assuming you survive the journey from the front door to the candy aisle.

The Wall

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